This chemo thing? It sucks.

I want to be as positive and uplifting as possible on this blog, because we decided early on not to focus on the negative throughout this process.

But there is no denying that right now, it’s really hard to be positive. It’s really hard for Scott to be going through these tough days, and it’s really hard to watch him in pain and feeling defeated.

Never have we wanted the days to go by faster, in hopes that if time is what heals his body, that it happens soon. Like everything since diagnosis, all we really want is for someone to tell us that though it’ll be awful for X number of days or months, that in the end he will be fine. 

We’re still in isolation because a diagnosis of what is causing his symptoms has not been reached. We’re hopeful that as the Cytarabine works its way out of his body over the next few days that life will be a little bit easier for him, and that it’s the cause of all this.

That said, it does feel (knock on wood) that Scott is coming through the worst of it. His team is helping him feel more comfortable and he has developed his own routine that helps him cope. And we still appreciate that we have much to be thankful for. Like supportive families that have allowed me to stay with Scott throughout the last few days. We’re grateful that these awful days mean Scott is getting treatment that will ultimately make him healthy. For friends and family that keep checking in, even though their likely not getting a response. And of course, for Gatorade and instant noodle soup.